Jessi Ngatikaura, star of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, is speaking out against the negative comments about her appearance that have come her way after appearing on reality TV.
The 33-year-old has faced harsh criticism, with some online trolls accusing her of looking “transgender” or “masculine.”
In a candid post on Instagram, Jessi addressed the hurtful comments and opened up about how they’ve affected her, especially given her ongoing struggles with insecurity and past trauma. The reality star urges people to be kinder online, as you never know what others might be going through.
Clapping Back at Body Shaming
In a series of Instagram Stories, Jessi shared her frustration with online trolls who have targeted her looks. “Just a gentle reminder that it’s never ok to comment on a woman’s post, ‘You’re looking more transgender by the day,’ or ‘Your features are so masculine,'” she began, making it clear that such comments are hurtful and unnecessary.
Though she admitted that these comments typically don’t bother her, she acknowledged feeling “very emo today” and struggling with the online scrutiny. “Most of the time these comments don’t get to me, but I’m feeling very emo today and want to never post again so thank you trolls,” she said.
In a follow-up post, Jessi explained some of the reasons behind her appearance, specifically referencing her defined jawline, which is a result of TMJ surgery.
“I have a defined jawline because of a TMJ surgery I got, and I swear it’s the number one thing that people tell me makes me look like a man,” she continued, responding directly to her critics. “Sorry Karen, I can’t control that?!”
She also touched on the criticism she’s received for undergoing plastic surgery, noting the contradiction in being criticized both for altering her appearance and for being judged based on it. “I also get roasted for getting plastic surgery done but then get endless comments about my looks that make me more insecure so you can never win,” Jessi remarked.
Opening Up About Insecurity and Therapy
In a video addressing the issue, Jessi admitted that she’s feeling particularly emotional and is actively working on improving her mental health. “I’ve been doing a lot of trauma work to unpack childhood issues and other things I’ve been going through,” she shared. “A lot of things that are coming up are that I’ve always felt not good enough.”
She further explained that she feels especially sensitive to criticism because, out of all the women on the cast, she often faces the most hate for her looks. “I look old. I look like a man. It’s always something,” she revealed.
She also expressed feeling like her insecurities stem from comparing herself to the other women on the show, noting that she’s working on addressing those feelings in therapy. “I do feel like out of all the girls on the cast, I get the most hate for my looks. It’s because everyone else is so beautiful, but I feel like I get the most criticism for it.”
Encouraging Kindness Online
Jessi used her platform to encourage others to be more mindful of their online behavior. “You never know what people are going through and it ruins someone’s day.
Don’t do that,” she urged her followers, reminding them that kindness can go a long way, especially when people are already dealing with personal struggles.
Reflecting on Her Journey
Before the second season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives airs in spring 2025, Jessi also opened up about a procedure she underwent to address a physical feature that had been a source of insecurity for her.
She shared that her decision to have a Weir excision—a procedure that reduces the width of a person’s nostrils—was influenced in part by her time on the reality show.
“I’m not ashamed to admit that because I’m human,” she wrote. “People have been awful about my looks & it definitely affected my confidence. But I also had insecurities before that I wanted to tweak so I took care of them!”
As she prepares for the new season, Jessi is hoping that with each passing season, she will develop thicker skin to handle the criticism. “I’m hoping my skin will get thicker with each season bc this s— is hard lol,” she added, acknowledging the tough nature of being in the public eye.
Jessi Ngatikaura’s openness about the struggles she faces with body shaming and online criticism serves as a reminder of the emotional toll that public scrutiny can take, especially for women in the spotlight.
Through her posts, Jessi encourages people to be kinder and more supportive online, recognizing that everyone has their own insecurities to navigate. As she continues her journey both on The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and in her personal life, Jessi’s message of self-acceptance and resilience is one that many can relate to.
